Well, Summer is finally kicking into full gear here. I think Miss Katie is confused as to why she is just home and not going to school at all.  She is used to the two weeks on two weeks off format that she has had the last 4 or 5 years.  She really has no understanding of time as far as being able to explain it to her, but her body clock is excellent.  She wants to go to bed and get up at the same time each day - I wish I felt that way :)

Her big obsession this Summer appears to be swimming. She wants to get into the pool as soon as she wakes up in the morning and usually ends her day in the pool as well.  Needless to say my house is full of wet swimsuits and towels and it seems that when the weather doesn't cooperate with her swimming needs she becomes a little agitated. Those are also difficult conversations to have with her.  She does not understand why it is not okay to swim when it is thundering and lightning out.

Well, not much else to report today. Enjoy your life wherever you are at.

I have decided that I need to make a commitment to start blogging again. Katie's journey has become more difficult over the past few years and I feel that this blog is the best way for me to again begin tracking Katie's progress.

Katie is now eleven and will be twelve in the Fall. I cannot believe how quickly time flies - even though at times it seems to drag on forever....especially when Katie is struggling. Although Katie has become much better at using PECS (picture exchange) to express her wants and needs, she also has become more impatient when we are not able to figure out what she wants and get it to her quickly.  As a parent I feel that autism is a continual exercise in patience and determination. I cannot give up.  I have to daily make a choice to fight for what Katie needs. To be patient with her and strive to help her every day.

So as Summer starts to go into full swing - and Katie will be home all Summer this year for the first time in four years -- I commit to blogging again - even if only for myself.

Two Years....Really?

I cannot believe that it has been two years since I have posted on this blog.  I used to love blogging, using it as a means to keep track of the progress of things in our life, especially Katie's autism. I decided that after a long hiatus, it was time to get back into the swing of things. I have always enjoyed writing down my thoughts. So even if this is just for me...here I go.

Katie is now 10 and will be 11 in October. She is finishing her 4th year at her current school and will actually being transferring with all of her classmates to a new school program next year where she will have more contact with general education students. Research has found that when autistic students are able to spend more time with their neuro typical peers, the results are very successful. 

I just finished a long term substitute teaching assignment at the local middle school.  As much as I loved working with the kids, I was reminded in many ways why I have chosen not to teach full time. I am looking forward to a little more time at home...getting caught up on reading, and maybe even finding the time to get back to cooking meals every day...yes, we ate way too much pizza while I was working!!!

Well, enough for today. I will try to make this a habit again.....

12 years ago

As April 26th rolls around each year, I never quite know what I'm supposed to do, how I am supposed to reflect on probably the most difficult day I have ever lived on this earth. 12 years ago I gave birth to our first born child, a son, Billy. But God's plan for Billy was different than mine. Billy was born still. He never experienced the tragedies and disappointments of this life, but rather went straight to the arms of Jesus.
12 years ago I felt as though my life would never be the same - and I was right.It wouldn't. What happened that day has changed my life forever. Although it took much time for me to see what those changes would be, God used that tragic day to help define who I am today. I was taught the fragileness and value of life. I was taught not to take anything or anyone for granted. I learned, over time, that God can get me through any situation, no matter how difficult. I learned that God loves me and that He needed to teach me some things before I could be the mother that he wanted me to be. He was teaching me to love and appreciate the future children I would have, in a way deeper and more complete than I ever could have if I had not experienced the loss of my son.
He was preparing me to love a special child, one with a disability. Not that I couldn't have loved Katie without losing a child before her, but because of my loss, my love for her has come without question. As I often say, I am thankful that God gave her to me so that I could love her and try to be the best mother I can be to her.
He was also preparing me for Miss Mary, the child that I believe God allowed to heal my broken heart. She continues to be a reminder to me of God's love and faithfulness to us, even 10 years later.
I write this mainly for myself, to look at and reflect on. Maybe that is the best thing I can do, look back and be thankful for all that God has given me. I can hardly believe that my precious baby would have been 12 tomorrow. I am thankful that he is in heaven and is enjoying God's presence where I know that one day I will join him for eternity. Happy birthday, Billy.

A Sunny Afternoon

Well, living in Michigan, March can be an unpredictable month for weather. Thankfully, the sun is shining today...but it's just a little cold for my liking. I can't complain though. It's a pretty quiet afternoon here. We have been struggling with sickness (strep, bronchitis, ear infections, etc.) all month. Most everyone is feeling better, except Miss Katie whose cough is keeping the house at a moderate noise level even though she and I are the only ones home.

Katie is doing really well. We were finally able to slowly take her off all of her medications, and she is definitely a new girl. Believe me when I say that removing the meds hasn't changed her autism....but it has definitely given us back the "real" Katie. She is "talking" more (I use the term talking loosely...she is babbling a lot...like a one year old would.), she has a range of emotions back....happy, sad, excited....she didn't have any emotional range when she was medicated. She is also sleeping better and has lost almost 10lbs. since stopping the meds. Those are all great things for her. My hope is that we will be able to keep her off medications indefinitely...which would be great.

Not too much else happening in our world. Just taking it a day at a time. Spring Break is now less than a week away....maybe we'll try to do something exciting! Hopefully the weather will cooperate!