Well, Katie is definitely doing a little better. Her "regularity" is returning :) and she seems to be a little happier. She hasn't had her risperdal for almost a week now -- but Bill and I had a pretty poignant conversation about how this is difficult. Autism is difficult. We are going to put her back on the meds. She will have to take Miralax everyday to help combat the constipation, but she takes it with no problem and her pediatrician says it is one of the safest drugs out there...so we are okay with it. It all goes back to the fact that we have to do all we can to help her, and some of these things aren't easy.
I have been very convicted lately that I'm not allowing the Lord to lead me where He wants me to go. I've been anxious, confused, depressed - mostly because I shut HIM out and do what Jill wants to do. Sometimes its "easier" to wander in self-pity than to look to HIM for guidance. This is a personal journey - but God has been using Katie in my life to lead me "back" to Him. I can't do this alone. Bill feels the same way. We have each other, but we need more than that. We need HIS direction, guidance, love.....Sometimes when you are a "mostly stay at home mom" (that is what I call myself b/c I really don't work all that much)..you get caught up in this isolation mode. What I need to remember is that I'm not isolated. I always have the Lord. He's always here. He's always guiding me --even if I'm not listening. And He loves Katie more than I do...He wants what is best for her, too. So, I'm listening. We're hoping to start the meds again tonight. I'll keep everyone posted.
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