A Day of Pondering

I usually use this blog only to reflect on our family and the things that take place on a daily basis -- our journey through autism, school happenings, vacations, etc., but today...my mind is full of thoughts - and I find this the best outlet to express what is bottled up in my mind.

If you know me personally, outside of the blog world, you know that God has taken me on many journeys during my walk with Him. Journeys of both joy and pain. Happiness and Sorrow. When going through many of these journeys, especially difficult ones, it is often hard to see the big picture, to understand the whys and hows. I am the first to admit that I have gone through some very dark times in my walk with God. He has, and will, always remain faithful, even though the circumstances of this life would cause me to doubt and question Him and His ways. "Why would you do this God?" or "How could you allow this to happen?" With time, many of these questions are answered. God gently reveals His plan and purpose to us, in His time, in His way. For me this is usually after a period of great sorrow, and then great growth and healing.

Today, I was exposed to great sorrow. Although this sorrow was not in my own life, it has impacted me greatly as I have tried to process this sorrow throughout the day. It has taken me back to a time when I personally experienced great sorrow, and I again found myself traveling down the road of questioning. "Why, God, why would you allow this to happen?" Maybe it is the human nature in me - the desire for everything to make sense. The difficulty of allowing my finite mind to understand the complexities of an infinite God, whose wisdom, mercy and grace are far beyond what I will ever truly be able to comprehend this side of heaven - or perhaps it is lies in my inability to find anyway to comfort those who are experiencing the sorrow. For Christ alone is our comfort - and until the questioning, and often even doubting are complete - that can be a difficult concept to grasp.

What I do know is this,"God is our refuge and strength, an everpresent help in times of trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."