One of Those Days...

Yesterday was one of those days that I was glad to have be over. I was tired and feeling sorry for myself. As gas prices soared again I was depressed by Jim Cramer (host of Mad Money) who expects gas to be at 5.00/gallon by the 4th of July. I began to question how in the world people are supposed to afford it. What is happening to our world?

I tried to put myself together, went and grabbed an ice cream cone and came home to start cleaning. I almost immediately recieved a call from school that Katie had managed to "escape" the classroom and was unaccounted for for almost 10 minutes before she was found. This has happened before, so I'm never really shocked by the call, but am always anxious to make sure that she has been reclaimed in an unharmed state. 10 minutes is a long time for an autistic 5 year old to be unaccounted for at a school that is right on the river.

After the day I had been through, my mom and I started to talk about Katie and how that her life is so simple. She lives to play outside and play with water. She is unconcerned with the daily burdens of life such as gas prices, disease and illness, and the many ofther things that make my life at times miserable to bear. She doesn't worry how the bills are paid (nor would any 5 year old..but this will be Katie's life for the foreseeable future.) or that we have too much laundry to do. She is carefree. She is happy. She is Katie.

Fast forward to this morning. It was Mary's last soccer game of the season. She was so excited. Unfortunately with the sudden spurt of 90 degree days that we have had it was too busy at the marina for Bill to make it to her game. She was a little disappointed, but we worked through it. He will be able to come to her big carnival at school Monday. so that helped to ease her pain a little. We are hoping to get our pool up this weekend which will also put smiles on both of the girls faces :)

Happy weekend....

david cook at walmart shareholder's meeting

Have I told you that David Cook ROCKS!!! I thought it was about time he made it to my blog. However, I'm not really sure why he's singing at the WalMart shareholder's meeting. (I'm not a huge fan of WalMart..but I'll post on that another time.) Anyway...enjoy the music.

What gets me through the day...

The picture speaks for itself. Where would I be without coffee? (and a little Coffee-mate, too!)

Katie Update

I am so excited to share an update on Katie's speech progress after a great session with her speech therapist, Ruth, this morning. Katie is now imitating almost every sound that you can imagine. That is a huge step. The next thing she needs to do is start repeating a sequence of two sounds (like ooh-ahh == want) and then we can progress to words like "want" that have a blended vowel sound. It is much harder for her to repeat a sound twice, or to repeat two different sounds than it is to just repeat one, so this will be a little bit of a process. Ruth said to give it two weeks. I think she is incredibly optimistic...but she's been right before...so I'll try to rembmer to update you in two weeks :)

Post-Weekend Update - Gas is 4.10/gallon

Well, another week has passed. They are flying by at an astounding rate. Only 6 1/2 days of school after today. As I have previously said, I am ready for school to be over. Katie cried and cried again as we walked into school today. She is done, too. Mary seems to be enjoying the end-of-school festivities as most 7 year olds do. For that I am thankful.

If you see my new header picture above, it was taken this morning. That is Katie in Mary's soccer jersey from last year. Katie would not leave for school without wearing it. She pulled it out of the laundry basket (no, I am not caught up on laundry, and as usual have many baskets to put away!) and threw it at me..which in Katie speak is "Mom, I'm wearing this and I need you to help me put it on!"

Our weekend was fairly uneventful. Mary's soccer game (she only has one left,) Church, we finished planting the garden, put up the kiddie pool that my mom bought for the girls. We have a 1000 gallon pool that isn't up yet. My mom saw this pool (see pic) in a Land's end catalog and apparently thought it was a lot bigger than it was. Too funny, but the girls liked it anyway. We will try to get the big pool out this weekend. It is supposed to be hot here all week (86 on thursday, so yes, summer is coming), so I think it is finally time for the pool!

And as a final note, yes, gas is 4.10 here. Thought it would go down a bit after the holiday, but apparently not.

Are we done yet??? With school that is!

Well, two weeks of school to go, and both of my girls are more than ready to be done. These are pics from Monday (Memorial Day). We spent some time at the Lake (Bill's dad's house). It was 80 plus degrees - great day.

My iris' are blooming ...that makes me happy.

Katie's schooling continues to stress me out. You would think with only 2 weeks to go I would not let anything phase me...but once again they wanted me to pick her up and take her home today. I am honestly tired of it... She was fine at home, but starts crying as soon as we pull into the parking lot at school. I think it is a combination of her allergies, her lack of desire to do cognitive work at school, and the vibe that she gets at school that perhaps they aren't really into dealing with her lately. She has always been the type of child that totally senses her caretaker's emotions and plays off of them. The teacher did concede at the end of the day that it was good Katie stayed because she did seem to settle into activities once she got past the initial reaction to them.... 9 1/2 days.... I can do this!

We 've started putting the garden in too... I'll post pics of that later when it's finished. My mom is coming over in the morning to help me finish it. We are going to try and grow sweet corn -- I know, sweet corn in the city...not sure how that is going to pan out...but I'll keep you posted !

Weekend Update..Memorial Day Special Edition --Gas is 4.10 a gallon!

Well once again it is the weekend, and I finally have found time to do a good detailed blog update. I must admit that it has been a difficult week -- in many aspects.

Katie's school situation continues to be complicated. They have begun interviewing for a new teacher for next year - and have allowed parents to be involved in the interviews (which is an amazing opportunity) - but I still have concerns about how that will pan out for Katie next year. We did have a funny Katie story on Friday -due to circumstances "beyond their control" there wasn't an aide available to take Katie to kindergarten on Friday am. The Kdg. teacher decided to come get Katie and let her be in class without an aide. She did amazingly well -- but when "circle" time was over and the teacher started to get into the nitty gritty of the lesson, Katie looked at the teacher (Deb) and said "Bye, Bye." Deb asked her, "Katie, do you want to go back to your classroom?" She looked at Deb and said "Bye, Bye." The fun was over, she didn't feel like working and she was ready to go back to the AI Classroom. I got a good kick out of that story :) It just reconfirms to us that Katie is really catching on -- she likes the "fun" activities and knew it was time to really dig in and work on cognitive skills - so she was done!

The girls have two and a half weeks of school left. I'm frantically trying to put together summer activities that don't involve extensive driving...yes gas is 4.10 here... UGH!!! Word on the street is that we are beginning a rapid incline to 5.00 a gallon. I wonder if it would be cheaper if we lived closer to the refineries? All I do know is that this whole gas thing is upsetting to me.

Happy Memorial Day to everyone. The weather is supposed to be warm here tomorrow - so I'll try to get some pics of the girls. Katie is already sporting a mid-summer tan -- and yes, it's only May. Mommy on the other hand is still pasty white!!! :)

Mary Vs. The Caterpillar

This is what happens when your 7 year old falls face first off of the "Caterpillar" (monkey bars that are shaped like a caterpillar) on the school playground. Actually, the pictures don't really do the injury justice. Thankfully I was at school for a meeting when the accident happened.. and we did end up going to the hospital (Her nose swelled up right away and from casual observation it definitely looked broken.) Thankfully it isn't broken. She is just really banged up - including a huge bruise in her mouth and a large cut where your upper lip connects with your upper gum.

As a side note, it was almost exactly a year ago when she fell off the monkey bars (not the caterpillar one ;) on the playground and broke her wrist/arm. Apparently the month of May and playgrounds aren't a good thing for Mary!

Weekend Update....

So, its been a typically busy weekend here in Michigan. Lots going on -- soccer, garage sales (not mine thank-goodness), church, playing outside, scrapbooking, eating, being silly, wasting time on the computer...the list goes on and on.

I took a few pictures this weekend that I wanted to post. Mostly of the girls being silly -- and of Katie demonstrating both her awesome behavior at Mary's soccer game - and her crazy behavior in our back yard on Saturday. She took 4 plastic cereal bowls from the cupboard and proceeded to play with them in the empty little tikes pool. It was priceless. Funny how entertainment is so "cheap" for her.

Katie has started saying her "b" sounds extremely well. We were once again able to get her to say "bacon" - also "bath"..so that was encouraging. She is also loving this time of year as her time outside will dramatically increase as the weather improves. Both of the girls are wanting the pool to be put up -- but with Michigan weather it will probably be June before that happens.

I have truly enjoyed my 4 days off work, but reality sets in tomorrow. Only 3 1/2 weeks of school left for the girls - that is hard to believe. I am trying to think of fun things to do with the girls without having to spend a mint on gas...any ideas, friends?

Birthday Reflections...

Yes, as I said in my post yesterday, today is my birthday. I'm 38 - it's not a secret. I'm not one of those people who tries to hide her true age -- how silly. Just be who you are, the age you are. Yes, I have gray hair -- my dad was completely gray at 30, so I'm fortunate to be 40% gray (according to my hairdresser.) Sometimes I color my hair, sometimes I don't. C'mon people - I have a daughter with autism, I work, I volunteer at school, I do 4 people's laundry (and we all know that is a lot of laundry) -- so when do I have time to worry about coloring my hair!?!

Anyway, I just wanted to take a few minutes for myself on my birthday to reflect on the past year and where I 've been - and where I would like to be going in the 39th year of my life :) In the past year I:

1) Have stopped working full-time and am now a part-time employee. This gives me more time for my girls and for my hubby.
2) Have stepped up my volunteering at the girls' school and will be the President of the parents club at my childrens' school next year.
3) Have returned to regular church attendance - due in large part to a special program our church has developed for Katie. I have blogged previously on this topic, but am continually blessed to back in consistent church fellowship.
4) Have been thrilled with the progress Katie has been making. This is especially true in the areas of speech and imitation. She has come such a long way this past year.
5)Have been reminded that this life is not something we can do on our own. I serve an awesome God who is willing and wanting to walk along side me as I journey through this life. He has given me a wonderful husband and two amazing children to join me in that journey. How blessed I am.
6)Have been reminded of all of the fabulous friends I have made during my life. The "facebook revolution" has reconnected me with so many of my friends (especially my Moody Bible Institute friends ) and this have been a HUGE blessing to me to have renewed these friendships.

I am sure that there are many more things I could reflect on in this post, but you know, it's my birthday and I want to go downstairs and scrapbook for awhile before I need to go pick the girls up from school ... so that is what I'm going to do. Have a great day ... I know I'm going to :)

So you've had a bad day....

Well, more like a tough 48 hours...but who is keeping track? As I wrote in my post on Tuesday, the week got started with tough therapy for Katie and kept right on rolling.

Tuesday afternoon they called me from Katie's school to come pick her up early because she was trying to climb out the window (For those of you who are new to my blog, Katie has previously escaped her classroom several times this year - once out of the classroom window without them having any clue where she had gone.), and they "didn't want to deal with it " anymore. So at 3.99 a gallon I drive to school 45 minutes before the end of the day and pick her up. She looked tired and a bit put off. I picked her up and we waited for Mary to get out of school. Whatever happened to dealing with "naughty" behaviors in the classroom rather than calling the parent? We have a behavior plan in place. I'm thinking a time-out would have sufficed with only 40 minutes to go... They told me she actually had gone for the window twice - and at recess she had gotten away from them and wandered to the edge of the playground where it turns into parking lot. They told me "she never runs off at recess - so we were really surprised" - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? She runs off all the time - so why are they "trusting" her? I was a bit confused by that.

Anyway, that aside, today was a little better. They told me she had a much better day today.. Yesterday had been okay, but not great -- so I guess we're headed in a good direction. I was able to be home today and clean -- and I even squeaked in some time for SCRAPBOOKING! I know, what a shock. No calls from school -- it was a good day.

Tomorrow is my birthday -- and no, I don't have to work :) Bill made me a butter pecan birthday cake tonight...I can't wait to try it tomorrow. Hopefully I will get to do some more scrapbooking -- and have some good family time...and we'll forget about school until next Monday :)

The Invisible Woman

I saw this video on Heather's blog (see sidebar) - and decided that I wanted it to be a part of mine as well. I often struggle with feeling this way - invisible -- but this video helped to remind me that God can work in me and through me -- even if I am (and sometimes especially if I am ) invisible to others. Enjoy the video.

Tuesday, Tuesday.... Gas is 3.99

Well, it's Tuesday. Therapy day for Katie --and it was a hard one this morning. Because Katie is now learning to speak words through imitation, she is struggling to find the words for herself when she doesn't hear the word to repeat. She and I were both crying this morning. Katie out of frustration - and me, because I would trade places with her in a heartbeat if I could. It is hard to watch your child so trapped in themself. But that is the evil-ness of autism. Watching your child caught within themselves with no easy way out. The blessing is that Katie has a phenomenal speech therapist who is truly gifted and has a fabulous connection with Katie... this is an older picture of Ruth (the therapist) and Katie. (This was taken about 5 months ago...just before Katie started to connect a little more with being photographed -- so we weren't able to get a good shot of her looking at the camera.)

As you can see by the title of this post, my other big news is that gas here has now crested the 3.99 mark. I never dreamed that in my lifetime (or at least in my 30's) we would see gas at this price. I was talking with a friend of mine this morning -- and we were talking about how we don't know how anyone (including ourselves) can absorb the increased gas prices as well as the resulting increased grocery prices, utility charges, etc. I remember a little over a year ago that gas here was actually 1.99 for a few weeks. (Yes, that is the bonus of living in rural Michigan). I don't anticipate gas under 3.00 a gallon ever again. I guess we'll be doing a lot of walking this summer. :) What does gas cost where you live? And how are you compensating for the increased costs? We are definitely trying to drive less...and I am hoping to alter my work schedule so that I am not driving 20 miles each way more that 2 or 3 days a week. There comes a point where (when you are working short shifts especially) it isn't profitable to go to work. And that is a sad point that this nation is coming t0. What happens when people can't afford to work?

Go Fish...The MOM Song

Happy Mothers Day tomorrow everyone.... I saw this on Heathers' blog and had to put it on my own. Enjoy...it's very cute!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wkc9-SvqfDM

Addicted to the Dollar Store

Okay, I am now admitting it. I think I am addicted to the Dollar Store. (and to the Dollar Spot at Target - but that is a whole different post.) As the economy plummets and gas prices soar, I have found myself increasingly visiting the various dollar stores that are in our area. Because I work 20 miles from our house I have about 5 or more stores that are between here and there...so there are lots of good shopping opportunities when I have the time. I was actually amazed today while I was perusing the dollar store that is perhaps my favorite of the 5 I have to choose from. It is the biggest and even has a refrigerated section - which is really amazing if you think about it. I refuse to by toys from the dollar store unless my kids are with me -- in which case I usually let them each have one toy to keep them from screaming -- but dollar store toys usually break before we even get home, so there is really no point.

However, as a mom, there are lots of good buys to be found at the neighborhood dollar store. Today I bought: toilet bowl cleaner (same brand that I buy at Meijer) - plastic sandwich baggies - and shampoo (also the same brand that I buy at Meijer). I could have bought more, but it was really busy in there and I wasn't really in the mood. They also have AMAZING scrapbooking supplies at the cheapest prices in town (hello, everything is 1 Dollar.) My neighbor got me hooked on their self adhesive tabs which come in disposable (although not earth-friendly) dispensers that don't have to be refilled, and only cost 1 dollar. The refills for my vario dispenser run me about 7 dollars for about the same number of tabs. To me that is a no -brainer. They also have packages of 6 to 8 color-coordinated 12x12 papers that are simply amazing - for 1 Dollar. Once again, why wouldn't you buy this if you are an avid scrapbooker. I'm sorry, but I don't know how people afford not to shop at the dollar store. The best part is - if you buy something and you don't like it or it doesn't work out - it was only 1 Dollar!

As promised, these are the pics of the therapeutic listening that we are now doing at home in addition to doing it at therapy time. Mary sat and strung beads with her while Katie listened to the "music". The kids are not allowed to watch tv, play video games or do any activity with visual stimulation while they do the listening...so this provides a good opportunity for Katie to work on her fine motor skills.

This and That (Oh, and Gas is 3.89)

Well, lots has been happening since our weekend of swimming, soccer and spider hats, so I wanted to write an update. Some of you know that we do private therapy through the hospital for Katie twice a week -- that has been a huge bonus for her. We have seen so much progress. I thank God for great therapists that care about Katie and work to meet her where she is and push her to places I never knew she could go. We have started therapeutic listening with Katie - and she seems to love it. We have now borrowed the take-home set of earphones and are going to be doing the therapy on a daily basis. I'll try to take a picture of her when she is wearing the huge, oversized headphones. It's really cute :)

I'm also very tired. I've been spending too much time on facebook, mostly reconnecting with friends from college - and that is fun -- but I need to remind myself that facebook is not my priority -- and at midnight, sleep should be my priority. Are there any other facebook addicts out there?
And by the way -- gas went up to 3.89 here today. A record high for the State of Michigan. Lovely.


Another item worth mentioning here is that effective tomorrow I will be the Sr. Co-Chair of the parents club for the school that my two girls attend. I know, I'm crazy, but I'm really excited. I'm the Sr. Chair for next year, but I take over at the meeting tomorrow night. I'm sure there will be some posts in the future about the exciting times at parents club, but for now I will leave it with the fact that I'm a little nervous, but really looking forward to it.

Well, enough for now I guess. I should probably get to making dinner ....(or back to facebook -- just kidding :)

What a Weekend...

Yes, it has been a crazy weekend. I had listed my status on facebook as "Jill is feeling like Wonder Woman minus the outfit" - and that is how I felt. Too much to do. Katie came home with the spider hat on Friday from school. This is the first year that she has wanted to wear hats. She wore it for a little while and then spent about 15 minutes torturing the poor spider by swinging it around until the legs fell off. It was beyond repair and has now made it's way into the dumpster :(

Then on Saturday we had soccer in the morning. Bill had to work so it was just the girls and I. I opted out of picture taking because I had my hands full with Katie. Mary's team won and she played very well -- especially at goalie. She has already told us that this is her last season of soccer and she has no desire to play again next year. It's her third year of soccer - fifth season...so Bill and I are good with that. She is hoping to start Tai-Kwan-Do lessons this summer.

We then had a two hour pool party on Saturday afternoon at the Middle School pool. I was dreading this b/c Katie always is a handful when we go swimming. She wants to swim but has a hard time adjusting to the initial shock of swimming (temperature, etc. ). Then, once she is in she has no desire to get out. Even after two hours of non-stop swimming when she is rubbing her eyes and is barely able to stand up on her own. Thankfully I didn't even have to get in the pool. Our neighbors (who were having the party for their kids' birthdays)helped get her in and adjusted and I was able to hang out on the side of the pool. Katie can swim, but we just put her in a lifejacket and let her bob around. She is much happier this way. Mary spent the majority of her time practicing her diving technique. It still needs a little work and she ended up doing quite a few belly flops. She ended up coming home and was in bed for the night at 5:30. If only Katie could have followed suit we would have been all set :), but the Katie-bug held out for regular bedtime.

It's been a crazy weekend. But a good one. Church today was great. Katie's "buddy" is working out fabulously. So far 3 weeks in a row of church with no significant issues. It might be a record. I have to work early, so I need to go to bed...more later. Goodnight.

Need Some Encouragement?

I haven't really talked about it on my blog much, but I have been following the story of a beautiful baby girl Audrey Caroline. The link to her blog is on the right under "Bring the Rain" which is the title of her blog. Her story and the story of her parents and how God is using them to minister to so many people is very touching. There is a 20 minute video that I believe you will find very worth your time. If you know me, you know that I lost a child at birth a little over 9 years ago. Audrey Caroline's story is near to me because of what Bill and I went through when our son died. Just as God was able to use our child's death to work in our lives and the lives of those we knew and were able to minister to, Todd and Angie are being used of God in mighty ways. Get a cup of coffee and let God work in you as you listen to their story. What do you do when God shows you Plan B?

Just a note...

I have now added the ability for those of you without blogger accounts to leave a comment on our blog. You may sign in as an anonymous user...just make sure you tell me who you are in the comment :)

The Bracelet

This is Katie's bracelet. She made it today at her Occupational Therapy Session at the hospital. A year ago I never dreamed that she would have the fine motor skills, concentration or desire to do something like this. It's simple - a pipe cleaner and some craft beads. She threaded each bead onto the pipe cleaner -- by herself. The O.T. handed her one bead at a time - and alternating hands (she hasn't decided if she is right or left handed yet) she threaded the beads carefully onto the pipe cleaner. When she was done (before we clasped the pipe cleaner for her) she held out her hand into a 'modeling' position as if to say, "Hello, I'd like to wear my bracelet." It was priceless. Wow - she is doing so well. Even if she had to have a time out in kindergarten today because she was trying to dive head first into a tray of chocolate birthday cupcakes :) We are so happy with her progress. She has added a lot of new words into her repetoire -- including 'Ruth' (her speech therapist), 'ooohwa' = water. Yes, me, bacon, (I know, what kid learns to say bacon as one of her first words - but the kid loves bacon.) She has had a great couple of months and we are so pleased.
I'll try to get a picture of her with the bracelet on -- the problem is that she moves around so much it's hard to get a good shot. :)

Walk About Talk About Autism 2008

Today was the 5th annual Walk About Talk About Autism Walk for the greater Kalamazoo/Battle Creek Chapter of the Autism Society of America. This was the first year that we have participated - and after the great day that we had, I am hoping that this will become a tradition for our family.

Bill had to work (Saturday's in April are unfortunately not a good time for him to participate in a daytime outing) - so my mom came along with us --which was awesome. Mary got her face painted and there was lots of free popcorn-- so that got us off to a great start. We then walked (along with about 300 other people if not more) about 2 miles on a great walking area in a local park. The only bummer was that after 10 days in a row of 70 degree weather it was a little brisk today - especially in the a.m. Katie looked like the sta-puff marshmallow woman with a shirt, sweatshirt, coat and then the autism walk t-shirt over the top.

After about an hour of walking we came back and had lunch. Then they had a ton of door prize drawings which the girls were really into -okay, I guess I should rephrase that - Mary was really into it. Katie was into the popcorn and juice boxes. :) We won two great prizes which included a pair of passes to a local "bouncing" facility that is full of inflatable toys for the kids to play on. They both love it there. :)

It was a great day. It was nice to spend time with my mom - with the girls - and with so many families who share the pain and the joy of loving a child with autism.

Busy, Busy

It seems as though this week is flying by. There has been something to do every day, with no end in sight. It is Earth Week, so that has brought a lot of extra activity to the girls' school. Their school is really "into" Earth Week and they have a lot of special activities for the kids to help them gain an added appreciation for the Earth we live in. It's actually a very cool thing for the kids.

We also had a meeting at school today regarding Katie's class. The kids will be having a new teacher next year. The sad part about that for me is that Katie has really been making good progress despite some personality conflicts between the teacher and myself earlier this year. The feelings were that she was not the right fit for the classroom. She is going to return to the school that she previously taught at and they will be looking for someone with more AI Preschool experience and collaborative teaching style to take the classroom next year.

Church Without Guilt...A Novel Concept

For those of you without children with special needs, this post may not make a lot of sense, or maybe it will. I'm trying to show more honesty in my blog posts...mostly because I am bloggging mostly for myself. What good does it do to lie? None. It just postpones the inevitable.

Church is something that many Christians lie about. They lie to themselves, they lie to others. I grew up in church -- 3 times a week at minimum. And you know what, it was great. I loved it. That was the life I knew - and it worked. When I went away to college my church involvement wained. I had PCM (Practical Christian Ministry) and that was good - but it wasn't church -- not the way I knew church.

After college I did the 'church thing' again -- but only Sunday mornings...and more for the social aspect than anything. (Do you see the brutle honesty here.) Bill and I attended church after we were married -- I actually met him through a singles Bible study at the church we ended up getting married at. -- but it was the church all of our friends went to. We weren't involved, we just went to church.

After the girls were born we really tried to find a church HOME. A place where I could feel like I did when I was a child - it was my family. My friends were there. Churches have changed a lot since I was a kid though. And then you add a special needs child to the mix. One who can't just go to a regular Sunday School class. (they don't even call it that now.) Thankfully - about 4 years ago we found our church and it is a great fit for us. But, it has taken us a long time to get to that point. We haven't been attending very regularly over the past year - mostly due to Katie. It was impossible for her to handle church which meant that Bill and I had to take turns taking Mary to church while leaving Katie and the other spouse at home. That gets old really fast. The easier alternative was sending Mary to my parents church where my dad is the pastor and where she loves being in "grammoo's" Sunday School class (they still call it that at their church.) :)

Today marked a turning point for our family. About a month ago I took Mary to see a movie, and low and behold, who is behing us in line, but the Pastor of our church and his wife and kids. Coincidence, I think not...but God. We chatted a little, and in my embarrassment told him the truth -- that Katie's disability was keeping us out of church. He said -- funny you should mention that because we are starting a new program for special needs children . We are going to pair them with a "buddy" who will be with them every week. They will be like a classroom "aide" assigned just to the one child. ( Our church has recently gone through a major expansion ). "My old office" he said, "will be the home base for these kids." He asked me to drop an e-mail to the children's pastor and ask her what our options for Katie were. Kristin (the childrens pastor) said "Funny you should e-mail me b/c I have been thinking about Katie and your family a lot. We already have a woman that is interested in being Katie's buddy." I was floored. God is so cool. He had this all arranged. I didn't even have to stress about. A month later (today) we were in church as a family for the first time in a long time. Katie was with her new buddy Adore, who we "adore". She is a kind, wonderful woman who is willing to give an hour and a half a week to a child she had never met so that her parents can be in church together and so that Katie (and Mary) can hear about Jesus in their "Sunday School Class " -- that is what I am calling it.

God is so good. It is so nice to be in church singing "Shout to the Lord" and to know that I don't have to feel guilty that my spouse is at home, or that my autistic daughter is unhappy or miserable. What a great feeling. What a great day. I was able to be in church without any guilt...and the best part is that God actually spoke to me.....

Soccer Time...

Well, soccer started again today. 7 weeks in the Fall and then 7 more in the Spring. This is Mary's 3rd year playing soccer - and we had some issues in the Fall. She wasn't sure she wanted to play - she didn't like to run -- hello? this is soccer. You have to run. Anyway...I think we have moved past that and are looking forward to a great soccer season. The other bonus compared to the Fall is that Katie is so much calmer on her new meds that she was able to sit for the majority of the game and eat popcorn and just hang out. She has never been able to do that before. The risperdal is working. And we think we have the dosing at just about the perfect levels. It has taken some work, but it is so great to have people come up to us and say "Wow, Katie is doing great. What are you guys doing differently?" First I want to say - God is doing it! He directed us to a great neurologist who isn't afraid to use medications to help this kids. So PTL for that. Also, God is really working in Katie's body -aside from the meds. She is learning to sign. This has been such a huge blessing for her, as well as for all of her caretakers. Honestly, a year ago, I never would have imagined that she would be signing. Now, her speech therapist at the hospital just told me this past week that she believes Katie will be able to read - at least at a functional level if not higher. I have never let my mind go to that point in my hopes for Katie, so for me that is a huge thing to work towards. We are so excited.

Old Friends are the Best Friends...

Yesterday was a great day for me. I was able to meet with one of my dearest friends from my childhood who I had not seen in 20 years. We were supposed to have lunch, but we got talking and the time just slipped by. I'm hoping that we can hook up again in a few weeks. We live about an hour and a half apart ..not too bad really. We met in the middle and it was great. I had to chuckle because as we were leaving she said, "Were you at all worried that we wouldn't have anything to talk about?" (At this point I should have said, "How well do you know me" because all my friends know I'm a 'talker') - but I just said, "No. I wasn't worried." It was great! And the amazing thing is how much we have in common. Children with disabilities. We each have a child on the autism spectrum. It was absolute bliss to chat with her. Thanks, Kim, for now being my "oldest"('cause you know we're not old!) and "dearest" friend.

More Chicago...

So I didn't get to this yesterday, but here is the Readers' Digest version of our Chicago trip. We knew it was going to be a rainy day, but that didn't stop us. We headed straight for American Girl Place. My hubby doesn't really like Chicago, so when the parking ramp we planned to park in was full, I heard "I hate Chicago" mumbled from the drivers seat. I looked over at him and said "you've got to be kidding. Do you know how many parking garages are in downtown Chicago?" I got him safely into the Northwestern Hospital ramp (which by the way cost us $30 for the few hours we were there -- I don't miss that about Chicago at all.) and we headed in the pouring rain and almost hurricane like winds to American Girl Place. That part was amazing. We spent quite a bit of time walking through all 3 levels of the store. They have some really cool displays for each of the time periods that the dolls represent. It also took Mary awhile to decide which doll she wanted (her belated birthday present from December). She decided on Mia and we headed out for Giordano's (which for those of you not familiar with Chicago is right around the corner. :) ) We pigged out basically - it's a once a year thing, so I'm not ashamed to say it. It was Mary's first time at Giordano's -- so it was a special treat.

We headed back out in the rain. We were going to Water Tower place for a little bit, but Mary saw the Disney store and decided that she didn't want to get soaked, so she picked the Disney store. That was fine with us. We made a few purchases and headed to the car.

We stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home. YUM! It was a great day. I had missed Katie, but as I said in my earlier post, she had a great day with my mom - and her meds seem to really being doing great things for her...so it was a great day all around.

My kind of town, Chicago is....

I want to do a post on our great, no awesome! trip to Chicago today - including American Girl Place and Giordano's - but I am whipped! So tomorrow I will be back with all the goods -- but here are some pics to get started. And yes, we left Katie at home with my Mom - and my Mom said that this is quite possibly the best and easiest day she has ever had watching Katie -- THE MEDS ARE WORKING - and the Lord is working in her too - it's so exciting to see.

Meds Update

Just wanted to throw out a quick update on Katie's meds. Mostly so that in a month I can look back and see where we were at. She is taking .25mg in the morning and the same dose again at night. This is only half of the dose that the neurologist originally prescribed for her - but right now it seems to be working. She is calm but not spaced out. She is able to sit in one place for more than 5 minutes - which in and of itself is amazing. I would like to see a little more focus - but I'm not sure that up'ing the dose is the answer at this point. Bill and I are happy with the improvement that we have seen - and she is starting to talk ! PTL! I'm looking forward to sending her back to school next week without telling them that we have added the daytime dosage and see if they notice any improvement!

Babies...

Don't worry...I'm not pregnant. :)

I was going to wait on this post until later in the month - closer to the 26th. But after spending so much time yesterday reading the story of Audrey Caroline , I had no choice but to write this post today.

Those of you who know us know that we had a baby before the girls. His name was Billy. He was born April 26th, 1999. He passed a blood clot through his heart before he was delivered. He was stillborn. The year that followed his death and birth was by far the most difficult year of my life. (which says a lot if you know all the things that followed such as my arnold chiari malformation and subsequent brain surgery, my mom's brain aneurysm, and of course, Katie's autism diagnosis). I read a post today on Alice's blog that made me think a lot about how God uses suffering and trials in our lives. In retrospect, I know that Billy's death was used greatly by God in my life, in Bill's life and in the lives of our family and friends. Obviously, it would not have been my choice for my child to taken from me before he was able to live on this earth - but that was God's choice and God's purpose. As the years go by, God has allowed me to meet and know many other families who have suffered the loss of a child. I wonder sometimes if God was preparing me to minister to others. I also know that through our loss of Billy, the subsequent births of our two daughters, Mary and Katie - even with her autism diagnosis - have been that much sweeter. We always tell Mary that God gave her to us to heal our broken hearts - and sometimes when I'm having a bad day she'll remind me that she is God's gift to me. How true that is.
Hug your "babies" today and tell them how thankful you are that God has given them to you as your special gifts.

Broken Glass, More Meds and a Movie

I gave my post this specific title so I wouldn't forget what I wanted to blog about today. Lots has happened. Spring Break is busy.
My morning started off with a "crash" so to speak. I asked Mary to keep a perverbial eye on Katie so I could grab a shower. I hadn't quite made it to the shower yet as I made a quick stop to my facebook page - and I heard a crash that compares to what I imagine it would sound like if you hit a baseball through a pane glass window. Katie has a special connection to a large glass pitcher that I own (well, I did own it...) It is a very heavy gold colored glass - from the 70's. A great pitcher for ice tea, etc. It's beveled glass and as I said, very heavy. Well apparently, the OCD in Katie took over and she wanted to hear the sound of breaking glass.(Unfortunately this happens a lot). She threw the pitcher from the top of the steps to where it landed on the hard tile floor in our entryway and proceeded to smash into oblivion. Mary yells up (as if I didn't hear the crash) "I know I'm supposed to be watching her, but you need to get down here NOW!) Good thing I hadn't made it into the shower yet. After a time out (for Katie - but I could have used one too) and 20 minutes of cleaning up glass, I was finally able to get my shower.
We started daytime meds on Katie today too - which you wouldn't guess from the breaking glass episode - but it really did make her calmer the rest of the day. My concern as always is that she is too calm - so we are watching her carefully over Spring Break to make sure that we aren't seeing the "zombie" effect.
Then tonight I was able to take Mary to see "Nim's Island". Great movie for moms and girls ages 7 and up. Mary was slightly freaked out by the sharks (you could only see their fins - but that was enough to have her practically lying in my lap.) It's PG - no swearing, sex or any other noticable issues. It probably could have received what I call a G7 rating which is a G movie if your child is over 7 ( I use 7 b/c that is Mary's age - I know - I'm nuts.)
Well - enough for now...more on the meds later.

Mom Thoughts...

Not being a full-time stay at home mom, this is an interesting week for me. My girls are on Spring Break, Bill is very busy at work, and I have taken 10 days off to enjoy being home with the girls. I can't remember the last time I had 10 days off in a row. It's kind of a weird concept for me.

I don't work that much - only 15 - 25 hours a week, sometimes more and sometimes less. But to not be working at all is kind of fun. The weather has finally turned nice here in snowy Michigan - and the girls are enjoying it. So are mommy and daddy.

Katie has tons of energy lately. We finally have her meds balanced (at least for the night time dose). We are considering adding the daytime dose again over Spring Break so we can monitor her progress at home without the somewhat negative comments that tend to come home from school. For some reason, school has been extremely negative about using any kind of meds with autistic children -- and that is one thing I just can't figure out. (yes, we have a mini-tramp in our front room. Katie uses it for self-regulation. It is a much needed part of many autistic children's lives).

To keep things fair (because that is how 7 year olds like it), Mary also wanted her picture taken. She does not have Katie's energy these days- but she has started Spring soccer and is actually excited about it - so we'll see how that goes.

Well, for now I think that is the end of my mom thoughts...too many and my brain starts to hurt.

Spring Break Has Begun

I must say that being my first year as a mother with both children in school all day -- Spring Break can be a daunting thing. Both of the girls home for 9 days...and I took the week off of work to boot -- this is going to be exciting. :) Bill has to work as this is the busy time of year at the Marina - that being said - and with gas at a neck-breaking 3.39 a gallon - we aren't going too far this Spring Break. We are doing a day trip with just Mary to (http://www.americangirl.com/ ) the American Girl Doll Store in Chicago...it is long overdue and has been postponed 3 separate times since December due to illness and weather. But other than that we don't really have much going on.

The weather here is actually supposed to start getting nice..so maybe we could get going on Mary's garden -- I wish we could break out the swimming pool, but my husband tells me that I am jumping the gun a little bit on that one. It's only going to be 60 degrees :)

This picture is Mary in one of her new dresses that "Grammoo" made for her to wear this summer. Notice the matching bandana -- it's a Girl Scout thing, that is all I can say about that. I told her we weren't quite at sundress weather yet -- but 7 year olds and Spring Break --

Katie has Spring Fever, too -- but she doesn't look very excited in this pic. Hopefully the nice weather and a little time outside will help.

World Autism Awareness Day 2008

I just wanted to take a minute and let everyone know that today is world autism awareness day. You can visit http://www.worldautismawarenessday.org/ to find out more information. Obviously, autism hits home for me each and every day, so I am excited to have this day where it can be brought to the forefront for the world to look at.

Just remember...this is the face of autism.

A Little Paint, and A Little Frustration

This was our Easter weekend painting project. The room isn't completely put back together, and the ceiling still needs a new coat of white, but this was the first time (I'm ashamed to say) that we have painted the master bedroom in the almost 9 years that we have lived in this house. I should have taken before and after pics -- because this blue is like a whole new world for our bedroom. It's a very nice color -- and yes, those are penguins on the sheets -- we still have the flannels on because this is Michigan - remember :)

I just remembered this afternoon to take the bunny flag out of the front yard. Mary was like "Mom, it's not Easter anymore" ..I just had to laugh... so now there is no flag until I dig a different one out of the cabinet...but at least there's no more bunny flag in 15 inches of snow.

Well now for the frustration.....yep, Katie and school. It's stressing me out again. I got a call today that she was freaking out because they would not let her turn the lights off for rest time because one of the other students was still eating lunch. Apparently Katie is the one who always turns the lights off for rest time -- and today she was ready before everyone else. I guess it turned into craziness - she was tantruming and they had to restrain her because they were afraid she was going to get hurt. If it isn't one thing it seems to be another. For now, all I can do is pray -- and get my act together so that I can once again pursue that which is best for Katie. We did start the meds again last night. As far as I can tell that seems to be going fine..but only time will tell.

A Little Improvement and A New Outlook on Life.

Well, Katie is definitely doing a little better. Her "regularity" is returning :) and she seems to be a little happier. She hasn't had her risperdal for almost a week now -- but Bill and I had a pretty poignant conversation about how this is difficult. Autism is difficult. We are going to put her back on the meds. She will have to take Miralax everyday to help combat the constipation, but she takes it with no problem and her pediatrician says it is one of the safest drugs out there...so we are okay with it. It all goes back to the fact that we have to do all we can to help her, and some of these things aren't easy.

I have been very convicted lately that I'm not allowing the Lord to lead me where He wants me to go. I've been anxious, confused, depressed - mostly because I shut HIM out and do what Jill wants to do. Sometimes its "easier" to wander in self-pity than to look to HIM for guidance. This is a personal journey - but God has been using Katie in my life to lead me "back" to Him. I can't do this alone. Bill feels the same way. We have each other, but we need more than that. We need HIS direction, guidance, love.....Sometimes when you are a "mostly stay at home mom" (that is what I call myself b/c I really don't work all that much)..you get caught up in this isolation mode. What I need to remember is that I'm not isolated. I always have the Lord. He's always here. He's always guiding me --even if I'm not listening. And He loves Katie more than I do...He wants what is best for her, too. So, I'm listening. We're hoping to start the meds again tonight. I'll keep everyone posted.

Risperdal...??? Hmmmm...

RISPERDAL...

Well, things aren't going very well with Katie's new meds. She is having all kinds of side effects. That is the problem with using meds to help with autism -- they often cause so many side effects that the results are worse than the original problem. Katie is having a huge appetite increase, greatly increased sensitivity to light, and terrible constipation. Lovely ;). Poor thing. It is so hard to help her. The Doctor's office has told us that this is basically "the price you have to pay" to have the meds help her -- the only trouble is we aren't doing very well finding the right dose to actually help her without having her be "stoned". The whole first week she was on the med she looked like she was just wasted out on drugs....and now with the reduced dose she just has a lot of side effects and not much improvement. It's very frustrating. I wish I knew other moms who had tried risperdal with their autistic children....the choices we have to make to help our kids can often be very difficult -- and when your kids have autism - it's even more difficult.

A Snowy Easter..Who would have thought?

Easter is over...

Wow -- an early SNOWY Easter...who would have thought? Things have been crazy here. 15 inches of snow on Friday. We have been trying to re-regulate Katie's new meds. We have started her on Risperdal - we had to take her off of it last week - give her a few days to recoop and now we have started her on a quarter dose at night only. If things go well we will up her to dose to a half dose and will give it to her morning and night. She was so "zombied" out on the full dose that it made me cry. She was crying too -- I think she didn't know what was happening to her -- and we can live with that.

This week is going to be crazy, too... Soccer practices were supposed to start, but with 15 inches of snow on the ground they have been postponed for at least a week...

I'll keep everyone update on how Katie is doing on her meds...

Great Wolf Lodge...Continued.

More Great Wolf Lodge.....

The long and the short of it is that we had a great time. Katie (like last time) got really tired really early on the second day and was asleep by 5 pm. She didn't get up until 11 pm and then mommy was stuck staying up with her 'til she fell back asleep around 4 am. I am always really tired after two nights at GWL ...but it's worth it. The kids love it.

Great Wolf Lodge...and Adventures in Driving...

Okay...Here it is, our second trip to Great Wolf Lodge. I need to first apologize to Tammy - whom I did not call while we were in T.C. - I do apologize. As you will read, it was quite the eventful trip and it seemed as though time got away from me... Please forgive me :)

We had dropped the dog at the kennel and were headed up to Traverse City for our mid-winter break vacation. We were about an hour into our trip after breakfast at Mc Donald's when Mary (who is riding in the third row of the van ) tells us that she needs to take a potty break because her tummy wasn't feeling well. Bill stops at a gas station -- Mary doesn't feel much better after taking a potty break - but we progress up the road. Keep in mind that she had a cinnamon melt and a sweet tea for breakfast (I know - but it was vacation) and that she has been so excited to go on this vacation ). She leans forward in her seat and begins to throw -up repeatedly. Bill says "Is she puking?" and I'm desperately searching for a bag or something - anything - to catch the puke in. Bill pulls off an on/off ramp. I clean up the puke -- we ask Mary if she wants to go home . "No..I'm fine." She's white as a sheet. Bill and I look at each other with the "should we turn around" look - but we keep going. Keep in mind that Bill's dad and his girlfriend were already on their way to meet us at GWL. Mary falls asleep and we keep on driving. We are about 15 minutes from GWL when the puking starts again. Unbelievable. Well, at the point we were literally past the point of no return, so we kept trecking up to the lodge. Once we got there and Mary got calmed down from all her excitement, she made a miraculous recovery. She saw "Pa Pa and Pat" and she was happy and fine. She was swimming and eating pizza - and you would have never known she was sick. It was CRAZY. Who throws up because of excitement????? I truly hope she can outgrow this...because Bill has an adversion to puke --- and unfortunately, because I am 'the MOM' - I end up cleaning it up. I'll post a few pics with this - and more tomorrow.....

Yummy Popsicles

POPSICLES...

I had meant to do this post before we left on vacation Sunday, but I ran out of time. Katie has been making huge strides over the past few months - we have seen this in so many areas..from her new use of sign language to her ability to say short phrases like "hi dada" when she feels led to do so. The other area we have seen huge growth in is in the area of eating. She has always been such a picky eater - and in my opinion was missing out on the finer things of life like ice cream, chocolate, etc. I am happy to say that Katie has now developed a taste for the yummy popsicles with ice cream in the center! Good job, Katie!!! We knew you could do it :)